Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Aliens invade Canada, and the British invade Blogistan

Two things to discuss, from the Broadcasting Corporations of the great nations of Canada and Britain, respectively.

First the 'Ceeb'. Apparently there have been more UFO reports than normal this year in Canada. Ufology (are you SERIOUS?!?) expert Chris Rutkowski says a UFO is "an object seen in the sky which its observer cannot identify" and the anthropomorphic 'science' should take these unrecorded sightings more seriously.

He also waxes speculative on what the 700 mysterious objects could be. His limitless imagination pegs them as lying somewhere between a tangible concrete explanation (i.e. omg! teh aliens!) to a "psychology-driven" one, presumably visions caused by a malfunctioning probe from a previous abduction. Perish the thought that any of the mere "lights in the night sky", accounting for two thirds of the sightings, were simply an airplane obscured by light clouds or haze. Come on Science! Get off your lazy ass and pay attention to 700 unrelated and undocumented claims of light at night caused by a source the observer can't immediately identify! Occam is spinning in his grave.

Next, the 'Beeb'. There was a code of conduct written for bloggers, outlining proper behaviour and etiquette. The code isn't a bad idea, it's good to have a policy on content and comment management on a blog, so readers know what they're in for, but it's a little presumptuous to think one small group of people can write out a list of commandments for a whole population who is otherwise free to express their opinions any way they like.

This is strictly not a blog. It is a bloge (rhymes with dodge). However, it is similar to a blog, and it is new, and no one seems to have found it yet. What better time to hash out an overview of my own policy, using the structure of the BBC article:

  • Anonymous comments ARE allowed. I don't care what flag you're waving, I don't even want to know your name. I don't care where you're from or where you're going, all I know is that you came. Go ahead and post anonymously. Do it do it do it do it now.
  • This bloge is open and uncensored. The code says I should post a logo to show this, but I ain't that fancy. Some of the above may offend you. Some of the below may offend you. This sentence right here might be offending you now. I'm an offensive person with offensive opinions, one of which is that being offended is divine because it promotes serious thought. If you don't like what I have to say you can post a comment, or you can go fuck yourself. Those are your options.
  • I am NOT committed to the 'Civility Enforced' standard: I MIGHT post unacceptable content, and I will NOT (always) delete comments that contain it.
  • I am fully in favour of libellous material, infringement of copyright or trademark and violations of privacy. I am, after all, a pirate.
  • I haven't read anything Kathy Sierra has written, and I know nothing about her personally, but I do solemnly swear on the Gospel of the FSM that I will kill her with my own bare hands.
  • Death threats are welcome. Nothing will please me more than having my life threatened on the internet. Really.
That is all for now. Is anyone reading this? Did anyone read my first post? If I start collecting an audience I promise to write more often, and about more important things, but if no one cares then what's the point eh?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You will die in eternal hellfire.
I will be the hand that will wrench your soul from your mortal coil and thrust it into the gaping maw of Satan and thus plunge you into the abysmal pit of despair, pain and damnation.

People like you need to be wiped out from the face of God's good Earth.